Make Chris Webber Great Again? By Klassy K

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Make Chris Webber Great Again?  By Klassy K

In my Martin Lawrence’s voice, “Wzup, Wzup, Wzuppppp home skillets?! It’s ya girl, coming at cha, did ya miss me? Well, you don’t have to answer that, because I know you did! Now give me an invisible hug. I hope you are enjoying the beautiful weather in the “D”, cause it’s hot out here for a pimp and everybody else that is soaking in this hot butt chicken grease weather. Yes, it’s just that hot, you can probably scramble eggs and sausage on your car hood, hang your washed clothes on the clothesline (that’s old school for my millenniums), take a shower or bath and go outside to dry yourself off, but before you do that, make sure it’s at night. You don’t want anybody to see what your mamma and your daddy gave ya!

So, now that the weather is hot, and Michiganders are enjoying all the festivals, concerts, parks, events, parades, beaches, etc., it is time to shine that green light on what is going on in Michigan sports. Well, to be honest, nothing is “really” earth-shattering to talk about, so we are going to talk about something else. I don’t know if you heard, but Chris Webber is coming back home! I know what you’re thinking, finally yes, yes, yes, he is going to return as a Detroit Pistons! Never gonna happen, again! Chris Webber was a Detroit Pistons back in the day like in 2007, played for a year, got his cheese, tried to prove his worthiness, and then he was out. Now, he is a television sports analyst wearing that dried up, needing some juices and berries on that matted untrained hair. Don’t get me wrong I love a natural man, but dang you’re on T.V. man (in my Chris Tucker voice). Chris Webber was a phenomenal basketball player, you should remember him for the “infamous timeout choke”.  Let me refresh your memory, it was the 1993 NCAA championship against the North Carolina Tar Heels, University of Michigan was down by two points. It was seconds left in the fourth quarter, and North Carolina Tar Heel player misses a free throw. Chris Webber gets the rebound, travels (refs didn’t see him travel), then runs the ball to the U of M bench, gets trapped by two North Carolina players and then calls timeout.

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I know you are probably thinking, “well yeah, that’s what he should have done, so the other team won’t steal the ball or get a turnover or maybe the coach can come up with a play.” All that sounds possible, but his team did not have any timeouts left. If the internet was out then, it would have been Michael Jordan’s crying face all over Chris Webber’s face. Hell, probably the whole team, including the coach.  So, guess what happened, U of M lost, but hey Chris Webber still went pro, faced the Ed Martin scandal and moved on. However, he is set to return only to be an honorary football captain this fall at U of M. Yeah, you guessed it, his old Alma Mater after being banned for 10 years. Coach Jim Harbaugh asked Chris and surprisingly, he agreed, but showing up is a different story. I often wondered why now? I mean U of M made it to the NCAA championship this past season, they lost, but it would have been nice to see a Fab Five reunion. Not Hi-Five the singing group, but that would be nice too!

Well, the Detroit Pistons are trying to “unify” a team of players in hopes of becoming a competitive and winning team, by adding Bruce Brown, Keenan Evans and Khyri Thomas-not Kyire Irving (Boston Celtics). So, now the Pistons has a total of 8 guards on the team. Really? Why? All I know is when the Detroit Pistons season starts this late October, I better see T-shirts in the chairs, free lottery scratch offs under my $5 pop and $10 popcorn, and Little Caesars pizza given to me when I walk in the door with my ticket, because Tom Gores is spending A LOT of money on these players. You remember Blake Griffin’s and Andre Drummond’s contract, don’t you? Well, if you want to be a part of the Detroit Piston’s franchise, they are holding Detroit Pistons Dancers Auditions this Saturday June 30th and Sunday July 1, Pistons Extreme Team Auditions on July 7th and 8th from 3-7 pm, Drumline Auditions on August 18, 2018, but check out their website for more information, https://www.nba.com/pistons/, good luck!

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Klassy K Sports Korner:  contributor writer for aheartfullconversations.com

 

 

What the Fudge?! By Klassy K

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What’s up home skillets?! It’s your girl, hitting at ya one mo’gin! I hope all my “home skillets” are enjoying the beautiful Michigan weather. Yes, yes, I know it’s been HOT, but try not to complain. Before you know it, we all will be wearing jackets. Now count your blessings! So, let me say a prayer for us, “I appreciate the warm and hot generous weather. I count my blessings with each passing summer day and I will NOT complain, in Jesus name I pray, Amen.” Now shout out to all the graduates, you finally did it.  Congratulations! You are moving closer to adulthood, now be prepared for further challenges, and responsibilities. Yes, to all the things that you didn’t want to do, but now you don’t have a choice. Trust me, I’ve been there and done that. I finally understood what Junior’s song, “Mama used to Say” means, because no matter how many times I was told, “don’t rush to get old”, I was rushing to get old instead of “living my life”.

Speaking of living the viva loca, the owner of the Detroit Pistons Tom Gores has hired a new head coach, Dwayne Casey.  Who? Yeah, I said that myself. So, I Googled him and this what came up, “The Toronto Raptors fires head coach Dwayne Casey after getting eliminated by the Cleveland Cavaliers in the second round.” There it is! Tom Gores went from hell to the abyss. Let’s accept the fact that Tom Gores is a businessman, he is trying to fill seats, and not win championships. Not now anyway. The new Pistons Head coach Dwayne Casey has never won a championship, and Tom Gores is compensating the highly seasoned coach $35 MILLION dollars for just 5 years. Yes, to coach 82 games a season, eat free, travel free, hotel free, everything big, yeah, he fancy huh? Yeah, he got to coach his team, go to practices, training, blah, blah, blah, sounds like a lot of work. It’s not work, cause it’s something that he enjoys doing (hint to graduates).

It was rumored that the “61 years old” new coach originally did not want to take the job. He was literally begged because he was still owed 6 million dollars for this next NBA basketball season from the Toronto Raptors. He was probably planning on just sitting at home cleaning his dentures and was looking for meals on wheels to come to his house. However, he took the 5-year gig. So, he’ll be 66 and is going to either retire or expire here in Detroit. Tom Gores was so desperate to hire a head coach that he forgot to hire the head coach’s boss. He was probably thinking why hire a general manager or President of Basketball Operations, that’s wasting money!

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Tom Gores and staff also interviewed Jason Kidd (former head coach for the Brooklyn Nets and the guy that lost against the Pistons in the 2004 semi-finals), Kenny Smith (former Houston Rockets player and TNT announcer, no coaching experience), Ime Udoka (assistant coach for San Antonio), and they did not interview Becky Hammon. I guess she wasn’t the girl with the good hair, but Becky could have made history here in Detroit.  She would have been the first woman to coach an NBA franchise, but oh well. Speaking of being the first and making history, Flint, Michigan’s own Claressa Shields, the first American boxer to win two consecutive Olympic gold medals, will be fighting next Friday, June 22, 2018, at 6:30 pm at the Masonic Temple. Tickets are still available at http://www.ticketmaster.com. So, come and witness as she fights her opponent Hanna Gabriels, because yo boy Miguel Cabrera (Da Tigers), 30 million dollar a season man is out the rest of the season due to a biceps tendon injury. That ain’t nothing no Robitussin can’t fix!

Credits: “Mama Used to say”, lyrics/composed by Junior Giscombe and Bob Carter, released in 1982, no copyright infringement intended.

Klassy K Sports Korner:  contributor writer for aheartfullconversations.com

“Will Detroit Make History?” By Klassy K

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What’s up home skillets? Klassy K is back on the scene, and I’m about to let you know what is going on in the “D”, sports related of course. Well, I’m going to start with the bad news, and work my way to the good news. I just think that it would be better this way due to the Tigers not having a good season. I mean with a .426 percentage that’s not even on the school grading scale, so that’s how bad it is! So, why talk about the highlights of the games? Who’s complaining about being on the team? How they are not being appreciated? Boo whoo! I guess I’m trying to understand, why would anybody feel “unappreciated” about being a millionaire and getting paid to do what they love to do? Shoot, we are all trying to get that that type of job! Am I right home skillet’s, now give me an invisible high five! Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that “all” players feel that way, but one in particular that I just have to mention is the $292 million dollar player, Miguel Cabrera.  Yes, the Tigers paid him $292 million dollars for 10 years, don’t worry he only has 5 years left to be here in Detroit, he’s not helping the Tigers get to a championship anyway, so bye Felicia! Will somebody please give this man some tissue and help him wipe his $292 million tears, I mean really dude? Oh, the agony!

Speaking of furthering the agony, did you know that Stan Van Gundy is GONE! Did you also know that he was the General Manager and the Coach of the Pistons, talk about conflict of interest. I guess the 4 billion dollar owner Tom Gores got tired of his sorry butt due to having a losing season(s) with the Pistons. I mean dang we didn’t even get close to smelling a championship, let alone smelling a victory in the playoffs, well let me think about it, maybe once in the four years that he was here. I guess in order to win you have to have both a winning team and coach as well. So, that means the Pistons organization are on the hunt for the next basketball head coach and to be honest I think Tom Gores should turn it to a reality series. Yeah picture it home skillets, they would have to try out, display their talents and then let the Detroiters decide who should be the next basketball head coach? Now, that would be the first ever, I mean wouldn’t that be cool, but wouldn’t it be even cooler if the Pistons organization would hire the first woman to be the head coach of a NBA team! In my schoolhouse rock voice, “we were suffering until suffrage”, what did they say, Sister!” It is rumored that the Pistons organization is seeking retired professional basketball player Becky Hammon, I know you don’t know who that is, but she is currently the assistant coach to the San Antonio Spurs. The Pistons is also considering Jerry Stackhouse, who was a former Piston back in 1998-2002, and Michigan bred Shane Battier, who was a high school Detroit Country Day basketball player. I’m going for the sista, sorry fellas, Detroit needs an earth shattering headline for once instead of “Murder Capital of the World.”

So that’s the bad news, now I promise the good news. The Detroit Grand Prix will take place on Belle Isle in Detroit on June 1-3, 2018, I’ll be there June 1st, because it’s free, courtesy of Comerica Bank, so get their early. However, if you don’t feel like getting up there early and waiting in the long line, tickets can be purchase at detroitgp.com.

Article credit, song, “Sufferin’ til Suffrage”, lyrics by Bob Dorough and Tom Yohe, courtesy of Schoolhouse Rock.

Klassy K Sports Korner:  contributor writer for aheartfullconversations.com

It’s a Wrap!  So what’s next? By Klassy K

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It’s a Wrap!  So what’s next?

By Klassy K’s Sports Korner

Hey, hey, hey, it’s your girl Klassy K, the one and only! I hope that you guys are well, healthy, and still somewhat disappointed. Not at me of course, but at some of your Michigan teams. I mean what-the-what is going on around here, except that maybe Mother Nature is punishing us for not correcting the water conditions in Flint?  If someone has a close relationship with Mother Nature, you can remain anonymous, but can you please let her know that it’s the state government and not the Michiganders, shoot we pay our taxes! The calendar states the first day of spring was March 21, well some Michiganders had snow on their tulips, cars and other stuff that we are so sick of seeing it on top of, that white slushy stuff… go to hiatus! I am so tired of it, so that’s why I went to Florida for spring break and while on break I got a chance to see what the sun actually looked like again in 80 degree weather.

Well, my vacation could not have been completed without watching my home team, the boys in blue, University of Michigan playing the Villanova Wildcats. I was watching the game sitting in a heated whirlpool and sipping on two margarita’s while watching it on an 85 inch T.V only to lose my buzz when they lost, 62-79. I just knew I was going to see the Michael Jordan memes on social media, you know that Michael Jordan meme, where he is looking pitiful, eyes all red from crying.  However, I never thought they would have made it to the championship.  I also say, well done U of M coach John Beilein, the coaching staff, and players still deserve an applause.  I felt the excitement watching my team on television, it was like watching Obama winning the presidency in 2008 or the Pistons Bad Boys winning the NBA championship in 1989 and 90 or when they won in 2004, or when the Red Wings won the Stanley Cup so many times, well you get the picture. I don’t know about you, but I was excited, it’s the little “good” things that happens in Michigan, especially if it’s the home team.

Well, I hate to add salt to the open wound during surgery, Da Pistons did not make the Playoff spot.  They lost it to the Philadelphia 76ers, so to all of you that were “hoping” that Blake Griffin could have used his “Kia Powers” or “All-Star Powers” were body-in-the-cemetery wrong. Remember, there is no “I” in TEAM. For those that may not know what his “Kia Powers” were, google his Kia car commercials, then you’ll see what I am talking about.  I know, I know, a lot of you hopefuls, including myself, have that 10% of hope that maybe, just maybe next year Da Pistons are going to be stronger than ever, if they can stay off the injury list.

Da Red Wings, are so done, they ended the season losing to the New York Islanders, ranking 5th in the Atlantic division in the Eastern Conference.  I think some of them are just waiting around to see who is coming to perform at Little Caesers Arena or at their beach front house somewhere at an undisclosed location, probably nowhere near Michigan. Da Tigers currently rank 3rd in the Central division, so that must be good, right? Well, let me also add they are 4-8 which means they won 4 and lost 8 games. Ouch! Da Tigers got a long way to go.  Hopefully, we can get some of that excitement back once the weather breaks, and no more bi-polar weather Mother Nature! We are confused, one minute we are wearing shorts, then we pre-heating our cars, work with me or I’m praying to God on you!

Klassy K’s Sports Korner: contributor writer for aheartfullofconversations.com

Da Red Wings: Will they make it to the Playoff’s?

 

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Da Red Wings: Will they make it to the Playoff’s? by Klassy K

What’s up home skillets!  It’s your girl and I am back with another opinionated, yet somewhat factual article. Now that the Little Caesar Arena is completed and all the sports teams with an exception of the Tigers and the Lions, oh my, has broken it in, maybe it’s time for some serious action to begin. You know that kind of action that makes you go dig into your closet and find some old Detroit shirt that you have not worn since the playoff’s or Stanley Cup Championship which was back when my 13-year-old was not even thought of, but we are not going to get into that. Yeah, that shirt, you’ll know it when you see it!

You know that type of action that later turns into excitement? Well, in case you do not know what that “excitement” is, it’s knowing that your team may make it to the Playoffs. Yeah baby! Well before you get too excited, please understand that Da Red Wings, yeah Da Red Wings, are currently ranked 5th in the Eastern Conference. I know, I know it’s too early to say for right now if they will make the playoffs because the season does not end until April 7, then playoffs are set to begin four days after. Da Red Wings have won 2 out of 5 recent games and I am thinking they are probably saying to themselves, “Look we can’t be like the Pitifuls, (*cough*) Pistons!” Oh what shade!

If you have not heard Da Red Wings just traded their forward Tomas Tatar, “who”, yeah he is not a “Blake Griffin”, but to sum it up he was a cute, middle age Caucasian guy with all of his teeth that was a pretty good hockey player.  Apparently, Da Red Wings want to start fresh, out with the old and the ones with the good teeth.  Some news outlets are saying, “the Red Wings are the biggest losers at the NHL’s trade deadline”, ouch! But that’s not even the biggest ouch, have you seen the ticket prices?  I’m going to give you a clue and then I’m going to see if you can figure it out.  It’s the price of a pack of 12- inch human weave hair, 1 Air Jordan shoe, not a pair, home skillets, brace yourself, $100 and “up.” Please don’t ask for the “up” amount, you may do the gas face!

Yes, and these are the nose bleed seating prices, but if you want to see the Octopussy thrown on the cold ice and see the boys in red and white, they are playing tonight March 2nd.  However, if you’re not getting paid this week and want to check them out on another day, check out their website https://www.nhl.com/redwings/.

-Klassy K’s Sports Korner, contributor blog writer for aheartfullofconversations.com