Don’t let your past get you messed up! by Chellyz View

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Don’t let your past get you messed up! by Chellyz View

Wow! I witnessed my visions grow and expand by staying dedicated to the physical and mental assignments that needed to be done in my life. I was evolving into the human and spiritual being that The Holy Spirit designed me to be. The light within my soul began to gleam and brightened my path and offered inspiration to those around me. Then boom, I heard my past blasting in the room like the fireworks and the feelings took over like a Polar Vortex. Everything felt cold and there was a slight chill that hovered over my presence. This would happen from time to time. The memories, heartaches, my transgressions, and pain caused me to shutter. Have you ever been in a place in your life when you asked a Higher Power, “Why would you want to use me as a guiding force for change?” Then you hear The Holy Spirit reply, “Why not?”

I was pushed to write this today on Thursday, July 9, 2020, so my fingers had to jump on the keyboards to release my thoughts. I know there is someone out there who is going through this crisis, revolution, and time of uncertainty trying to figure things out or beginning to understand this is the time to activate your purpose. Now and again, your past gets you messed up though. You start telling yourself you don’t deserve the blessings, you can’t make a difference, or why would anybody want to listen to you because you just don’t feel worthy. Nope! Stop! Hold up wait a minute! We must not do that! Yes, we must realize we are not perfect but every single day we have the opportunity to awaken to level up and change the trajectory of our life. We can correct our misjudgments. We have the privilege of changing our path. We just have a right to do so!

Forgiveness

What? You didn’t know you have the right to not remain silent.  You must speak and demand your past to not control your life. You have permission to pluck those unwanted and unsightly deterrents to make room for you to see clearly and grow! You must leave those individuals behind that make you doubt yourself and have you believing that you will be defined by who you used to be! There is strength in your bones that will empower you to get right back up when you have failed. Don’t allow your past to get you messed up to the point where you can’t function. It’s time to operate out of excellence.

You might have an overflow of tears while celebrating how you overcame certain battles and situations. Let them lead you to a river of an abundance of happiness; not regret. Don’t allow the negative voice of others or the one creeping in your mind to tell you that you don’t belong where The Holy Spirit ordained you to be. I ain’t talking about the pulpit because we are not all meant to preach. However, we all have the power to teach through experience and life lessons.

God Forgives

Today, I don’t have any fluffy five steps to tell you how not to let your past get you messed up because you know I do from time to time. All I have are these words to encourage you. At this moment, I want to tell you that it is alright to live. Yep! Please let me stress to you that You are worthy! There’s a wholeness inside of you that makes this world complete by sharing your gifts, visions, and the brightness to warm this world when it seems a little cold! Go ahead love the person you are evolving into and shine!

-Let your heart be full of new ventures that will lead you to the possibilities of limitless conversations!

How I made it to 100! by Chellyz View

 

Sunglasses 100

How I made it to 100! by Chellyz View

Can you believe I made it to 100! Look, I know you are thinking I can’t believe she made it to 100. I am not talking about my age. Logically, you are thinking about numbers but on a level of momentum, I am talking about blog posts! I am so thankful, but let me be absolutely truthful. I DID NOT MAKE IT ALONE!!!  Getting to 100 had me feeling a range of emotions from happiness, loneliness, excitement, disappointment, anticipation, nervousness, jubilation, frustration, progress, procrastination, and achievement.

A Heart Full of Conversations started off with a small statement back in 2011. Initially, the blog was going to be called “Havin Sumthin 2 Say.”  My Sister DeAnn Jordan was standing at my cubicle during a break. I said, “I want to start a blog about Detroit.” Of course, she offered her encouragement and that was that. Then my other Sister LaTonja Degraffenreid-Smith continued to offer inspiration about moving forward with my goals and that was that.  My momma, Wanda Betty, and my aunt, Sherry Betty always told me to follow my dreams and that was that.  A few years later I remember attending an amazing Vision Board party hosted by the empowering Cherisa “Do You See” Allen. At the event, I sat next to one motivational lady by the name of Kallista.   I was telling her I wanted to start the blog and how I needed to change the name once again and went on and on. Finally, she said, “Give Birth to It.” Yes, that is exactly what I was going to do, but that was that.  So many visions, words of positivity, and time kept on passing me by.

By 2016, I interviewed Pamela Duvall, the owner of Detroit Vintage Coffee and Tea House. Voila, and that was that.  At one point, I even felt a little burned out.  However, the Burn Out Coach Latanya Riggs checked me and pushed a group of us to keep pursuing our dreams and that was that.  A year later after interviewing Ms. Duvall, I published my first blog post on January 31, 2017:  https://aheartfullofconversations.com/2017/02/01/detroit-vintage-coffee-and-tea-house-the-oasis-in-my-neighborhood/.  After releasing my first post I was ready to crank out the articles. And that was that!

Suddenly, it felt a little overwhelming keeping up the content and working full time. A team of dedicated souls helped this sister and I am forever grateful!!! I asked my two sistahs Tresa Simmons and Marquesha Brooks to join me on the journey.  Tresa contributed invigorating articles about Women’s Wellness until she moved to AZ. Now, she is living her best life, published a new book, and fulfilling her entrepreneurial goals. Marquesha continues to share everybody’s posts while contributing sports content. Then Boom COVID-19 put a halt to that! However, my favorite Home Skillet will be back with Klassy K’s Sports Korner soon. Well, Hopefully! She definitely knows how to break down the sports and keeps you laughing at the same time.

Awwwwwww, then my Big Brother Mr. Butch Ford joined the team in 2019. His clever style of taking lyrics from songs and applying them to his writing is pure talent. Ford’s posts are thought-provoking and witty.  I see an R and B Blog Platform in the immediate future!!!

Please, let me also graciously thank alllllllllllllllllllll the wonderful individuals who have contributed their talents and written a post, and those I have interviewed over the years!!!!  Also, thanks to the individuals who are featured on the blog’s YouTube Page: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIlI7tJYvgXfeC3uvQxndFQ

My heart can’t thank each and every one of YOU enough!!!!!

Garden 100 pic

If you want to start a blog, make it happen. Remember, this walk is easier when you invite others to support you on the path. All I can say is I am thankful I made it to 100. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read, share, comment, and follow the page on Facebook and Instagram. It gets tough staying on the path to accomplishing my goals but I am doing so gracefully. I truly can’t tell you how long this platform will be around. For now, I will offer what I can for as long as the Holy Spirit allows. I’m so proud of myself. Best wishes to the bloggers who are trying or who have made it to 100. I wish you much success!!! And That is That!!!!

-Let your heart be full of new ventures that will lead you to the possibilities of limitless conversations!

Photo Credit:  The Super Hero aka My Son

Background:  Greening of Detroit /  Michigan Ave. and Shelby / Downtown Detroit

Gotta Do Something by Chellyz View

Black woman screaming

Gotta Do Something by Chellyz View

I would be telling a story, but I guess this is what blogging is about telling stories. Right?  Anyway, I would be telling a story if I told you I was feeling like a Champ and everything smelled like fresh roses.  From social injustice, police brutality, crime in the neighborhoods, COVID-19, systematic oppression, overcoming depression damn…. I just got exhausted typing this all!!!  Last week, it felt as if the walls were caving in on me.  I was pissed.  I was angry.  I was suffocating.  Mentally a Sistah was weak.  I was about to faint.

Lately, the whole world has been in an uproar.  Daily marches and protests, virtual meetings, and discussions, social media flooded with feelings of frustration, and the news chatters of another incident, another death, and another life lost too soon.  This pain is piercing like the nails of a crucifixion.  I heard the squeals of a mother on repeat who is saddened by losing a child.  I saw the tears of children who are grieving because they keep trying to comprehend why their momma, daddy, or someone they cared about won’t be returning home. I experienced the hopelessness from families, friends, and the community losing their grasp because they are too weak to keep holding on from the attacks we face as a Black race.

warrior

This struggle started before I was pushed out of my momma’s womb.  Racism, poverty, and discrimination have been causing labor pains before my great, great, great, and let me add another great grandmomma even graced the earth. Heroin, Crack, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, broken homes, and gunfire have plagued these streets like the Bubonic wreaking mad havoc.  The stench is strong.  As soon as the black community gets a whiff of what it feels like to be stable the Earth shakes and knocks us down on our backs.  There’s smoke everywhere and it ain’t from the riots. We are being smothered by hate, destruction, and violence.

Though I felt weary last week, I know I “Gotta Do Something!”  So, from time to time I must power down.  I haven’t participated in any protests or marches but that doesn’t mean I won’t do anything.  Many of us have been doing what we can for a long time.  The weight of the cries, heavy hearts, and sorrows cannot be carried alone.  We all “Gotta Do Something” in our own time and in our own way.  We volunteer.  We speak.  We pray. We donate.  We organize.  We move.  We are always moving in hopes of better days, better tomorrows, better years, better decades, and better centuries.

I ain’t giving up but every now again I must pause so I can contribute to the cause. Your actions may be subtle or you may attack the issues while roaring like a lion.  Either way do something. Yes!  You “Gotta Do something!”

-Let your heart be full of new ventures that will lead you to the possibilities of limitless conversations!

It’s Time to Fine-Tune Your Goals by Chellyz View

 

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It’s Time to Fine-Tune Your Goals by Chellyz View

The Need to Fine-Tune Your Goals

Once we get back into the groove of things, what will be the outcome of your business, organization, or life-long goals? For some, it will feel smooth as jazz or flow like the beats of Neo-Soul. Others may feel a little shaky like rock and roll, while some individuals may resemble the tranquility from the vibrations of an orchestra playing classical music. You may be wondering what and who inspired me to write this post. For one, the Trolls World Tour Movie released in April 2020, which I truly enjoyed.  Also, most definitely none other than my brother Mr. Butch Ford, who is gifted in analyzing any R & B classic or throwback song without thinking twice about it!  Yep, many relatable songs blasted through my mind while typing this post!!!!!

Anywho, I need you to stay in tune with keeping your business, entrepreneurial, and/or personal goals sharp in today’s ever-changing economy.  If you fail to frequently fine-tune your purpose you will feel like a losing contestant on Shazam who didn’t make it in time to recall the lyrics or title to their favorite song!

Now, let’s “Back it up!” As business owners, entrepreneurs, someone longing to build a stable organization or complete pertinent goals we just got to “Wobble” with it these days. There are many times we are taking small steps so we can stand tall, secure, and confident in what we do while going through this Pandemic. At times we “just keep on Fallin’ in and out of love” with the woes and accomplishment of being an entrepreneur or goal-setter. Finding our niche in life or a target market can be pleasing like music to the ears, but for others, it might sound like a whole lot of noise. Either way, if you have found your purpose, then it’s even more important to take notes and stick with a plan. In this post, I would like to briefly offer a little encouragement! I am appreciative of those who continue to motivate me and for the Holy Spirit who watches over me because I can hear Marvin Sapp singing, “I Never Would Have Made It Without You.”

Why Don’t They Support Me?   

I was aggravated with myself and having a rant, saying “Wah, Wah, Wah!” like a Lil Baby! Of course, I snapped out of it and stopped all the crying! I had to reassure myself to get over it and those who didn’t show support. I asked myself a few questions.  “Why am I  putting so much effort into my entrepreneurial and personal goals?” “Who am I trying to serve?”  “Am I trying to serve self?” “Is my purpose to serve others?” Finally, “What really matters?” All these questions had me dizzy.  I told myself, “You got me going in circles (oh round and round I go).”  I had to hit the pause button.  As entrepreneurs, the products and services we offer must meet the needs of the consumer in mind. As individuals achieving life long goals we must remember to move forward with determination to complete the task even when we may feel all alone.

Over the years, successful individuals presented me with two essential questions. (Thanks to those who always have me thinking.) First, a few people asked me what is the purpose of me pursuing my life-long goals? Secondly, I have been asked how will my purpose enhance the lives of others? Yes, those two questions allowed me to recall why I enjoy pushing and pursuing my entrepreneurial and personal goals. I realized that even though fulfilling my purpose may feel like walking through a maze there is someone searching for the gifts and talents that I had to offer. Please stay focused on the path of what you were meant to do and why it is necessary. Eventually, you will find your purpose as your purpose will also find you.

Worrying About Failure  

Whew, chile, let me share this tad bit of info!!!! My Momma, Auntie, and the people who reside with me know I have tried different ventures. Some have failed, or I didn’t have the tenacity to continue. Recently, I was all up in a frenzy as I contemplated to renew one of my LLC’s. After much prayer, meditation and contemplation, I decided to sing, “I’m saying Bye Bye” in that Aaron Hall from Guy tone voice. I didn’t have the fortitude to push or invest in this particular project any longer.

It was time for me to shift my concentration cause Big Daddy Kane was telling me, “Aint No Half-Steppin’.” I wasn’t giving up, but I had decided to concentrate on what truly gave me life. My creative energy was all over “thee” place.  I needed to downsize. I noticed I didn’t have enough time to invest in what indeed had meaning while living on this Earth.

Yep, there will be those moments when it may feel as if you have failed. Remember, you have never failed if you tried. You are going to win. Concentrate on what adds value to your life and the world. When you know what is important, tell yourself that you will, “Keep Rising to the Top and Give it all You Got!”

Give Time to the Right Projects that Makes You Sing Sweet Melodies 

You might ask yourself, “Well, how much time am I supposed to give myself?” As mentioned in the previous section, I decided to let go of a significant project I worked on for three years. Yes, there are times when we prematurely give up on a venture. However, there are instances when we have that gut feeling it is time to move on.  One of my dear sisters Lady Ton tells me when it is time to let go of a project or venture, “You Will Know.”

Closeout the chatter and get on the right keys so you can make sure it is the decision you want to make. Not because someone is pressuring you to give up. Currently, my soul is singing beautiful melodies about the projects I have been working on.  I have invested time and money for quite a few years on them. Guess what?  I don’t mind. I am giving these projects as much time as I need to. It is my purpose. I know it is making a difference in my life and will inspire others!

Yes, in these uncertain times, we may feel very uncertain. Recently, major corporations have filed bankruptcy or contemplated filing. We must accept, “It’s Like that and that’s the way it is.” But, no matter what occurs or how big or small our dreams are, we own them. Don’t feel disappointed when the outcome doesn’t unfold how you thought it would be. Please network with people who will encourage you. “Don’t Rush” the Process.

Pursue your dreams that are in your heart. It’s worth it. You might feel like what is going on and how should I fine-tune my goals. You may feel as if you are standing in an empty stadium and don’t have the support you need. Hey, “Just don’t give up it’s going to be…Alright.”  Once again, give yourself time to what is truly important to your current or future goals that will make your soul sing. When you feel like too much is going on blast a little Mary J (music that is) because you will be, “Just Fine Fine Fine Fine Fine Fine Ohhhhh!!!!!  

-Let your heart be full of new ventures that will lead you to the possibilities of limitless conversations!

References

Alicia Keys. “Fallin’.” Songs in A Minor, J, 2001.

Big Daddy Kane.  “Ain’t No Half-Steppin’.”  Long Live the Kane, Cold Chillin, 1988.

Black Men United.  “You Will Know.”  Jason Lyric’s Original Motion Picture Soundtrack,  Rap-A-Lot Records, 1994.

Drake & Lil Baby. “Yes Indeed.”  Harder Than Ever, 4 Pockets Full, Wolfpack, Quality Control, Motown, Capitol, 2018.

Guy.  “Goodbye Love.”  Guy-Special Edition, Uptown, MCA, Warner Bros., 1998.

Keni Burke. “Risin’ To the Top.” Changes, RCA, 1982.

Ledisi. “Alright.”  Alright, Verve Forecast, 2007.

Marvin Sapp. “Never Would Have Made It.” Thirsty, Verity Records, Zomba, 2007.

Mary J. Blige.  “Just Fine.”  Growing Pains, Geffen, 2007.

Run-D.M.C.  “It’s Like That.”  Run-D.M.C., Profile Records, 1983.

The Friends of Distinction.  “You’ve Got Me Going in Circles.” Grazin’, RCA Victor, 1969.

V.I.C. “Wooble.” Beast, Warner Bros., 2008.

Young T. & Bugsey.  “Don’t Rush.”  Don’t Rush, Black Butter Records, 2019.

We Are Not All Safe While Staying at Home by Chellyz View

Raising Hands

 

We Are Not All Safe While Staying at Home by Chellyz View

Attention: This post is not directed to those who are intentionally going out just for the sake of going out, but for those who may not have a safe or comfortable space to call home.

Today, I am going to simply keep things simple! I wrote a post at the end of March about staying at home during this crisis. I know this is a matter of life or death, but everyone’s space is different. So, at this moment, I am not here to go on a rampage or soapbox about what people should or should not do. Those of us who are grown and reside in a safe and comfortable space know what’s up. Those of us who are not grown and have a safe and comfy space to live in should take heed to wisdom when our elders are trying to drop those nuggets (and not the ones from that fast food place).

Since the occurrence of the PANDEMIC, I have been looking around my home. I had to stop myself from complaining and appearing to be a tad bit ungrateful. I noticed all the flaws, the leaks, and the unfinished projects that were projected to be finished but never were. I began to feel a little frustrated. Staying at home made me realize the foundation of the inside and outside of my house, desperately needed to be fixed. I sat still for a moment, and I spoke to the Holy Spirit. I offered my thank you’s and lifted praises for having a safe place to stay. Shortly after, I made a mental note of what needed to be repaired. Some could be salvaged now, while other repairs would be completed after this partial social isolation from the world.

Next, I thought about my children. Things are not perfect, but I believe they are like me and didn’t realize how blessed they are. The two of them have their own room, own iPhone, own game console, own Smart TV, and their own iPad with the options of unlimited snacks! Well, until I tell them, “Don’t y’all snack on another nothing. You are not hungry. You are bored.” Then, I had to politely walk away from the fridge and preach the same sermon to myself.

My children don’t have the worries of sharing or fighting over who would enjoy which series or movies to watch or games to play. They don’t have to fuss unless they are restless and need to take their frustration out on someone, which is known as typical sibling rivalry.  The children, Hub, and I have enough space to scatter ourselves if we feel overwhelmed by being enclosed under one roof. Now and then, we stream and watch movies together or play board games. On a couple of Sundays, we rode out to Belle Isle just to change the scenery. Thus far, the income flows. My overdue bills are from my lack of not being a good steward over my finances. I will post about that at a later time.

Then, I thought about the rest of the world as the #stayathome movement is stressed. Some people are struck hard, and the punches sting. Some people couldn’t apply for unemployment because they may have been paid under the table, not worked long enough, or just didn’t qualify. Some households are busting through the seams because the Head of the Household has their children. Another family member may be living there with their children, then there might be an elderly family member or cousin or friend or two all sharing one common space. Living conditions may not be ideal. Stretching food has been extended to the limits. People are becoming too restless and anxious because the walls are caving in as the people are overflowing in the home.

No back porch to chill on if you are living in an apartment building.
For some, there are no long drives for a change of scenery if there’s no reliable transportation. No time to take a whole day to catch up on laundry because there is no washer or dryer. No catching up on long-overdue home improvement projects if you are renting because the landlord owns the home. The list goes on and on.

Then, I thought about the problems that haven’t disappeared though COVID has appeared. Abuse lurking leading to fists and words scarring innocent souls. Addictions brewing leading to children being neglected. The cycle of poverty is prevalent, and the reflection of pain is shown on the face of a man, woman, or child who longs to escape, but the chance of COVID attacking them is on the other side of the door. Someone out there feels trapped more than ever.

I want people to be safe, but I don’t want us to ignore the issue that everyone doesn’t have the option of feeling safe in a comfortable space. What do we do?

I can tell you what I must do! I am more thankful, I am praying for healing, I am requesting protection for those who need it, I am providing resources when possible, I am pleading for a cure, I am asking for Mercy, and I am taking this life one day at a time. Cause staying safe in a comfortable space ain’t an option for everyone.

-Let your heart be full of new ventures that will lead you to the possibilities of limitless conversations!

 

Photo by Luis Dalvan from Pexels

The Season of Cancellation by Chellyz View

Canceled

The Season of Cancellation by Chellyz View

I woke up one day and felt like major events disappeared. Can you believe it? At this moment, there will be no proms or send-offs, graduations, senior trips, baby showers, weddings or receptions, shopping for that new Easter (Resurrection) Day outfit, most likely the school year, and the Auto Show. Ok, you know what I am trying to say. Canceled!!!

What a difference a day, a season, or a whole moment makes! I was excited. Not one, two, but I had three trips planned this year, not including the one recently taken in the ATL. In February before the widespread pandemic, the children and I went to Georgia to celebrate my brother-in-law’s 40th and nephew’s 17th birthdays!!!! Feeling a little nervous at the time, we still took the trip with prayer in my heart and hope in my head that the Holy Spirit would protect us on the journey. Thankfully, we made it, but the war on Covid-19 is still raging.

The enemy is attacking, and the number of casualties on the battlefield keeps rising. I keep hearing Hot Spot. Hot Spot. Detroit is a Hot Spot. Not too long ago, we were becoming one of the hottest spots as it related to regrowth in certain areas. That’s up for another discussion. Cobo Hall, now known as the TCF Center, is being transformed into a temporary hospital to house the sick and shut-in. I am trying to shut out the news and my addiction to scrolling through social media because a Sistah is getting Anxious.

As this goes on, I am thinking about how I keep hearing canceled. What about people who need treatment for ongoing illnesses? What about people who might be experiencing a Heart Attack, Stroke, or need immediate attention. You can call 911, but they ain’t trying to take you to the hospital. They stress you don’t want to go if you don’t need to. So what happens when you are sick, but it may not be related to the Cov?

What else is going on in the world? Did all other situations, crimes, and so on and so on stop? What about bills? Don’t worry! Right? I hear you need to call and make payment arrangements. Evictions are temporarily put to a halt. Cell phones and internet services are not being disconnected at this time. Utilities are not supposed to be touched. What will happen eventually? Will are debts be canceled, and we start from zero?

Businesses are closing. Will many survive? For example, damn the ones that did stay afloat on Detroit’s Westside Avenue of Fashion from the recent construction feel like they are drowning once again. Who will make it through? Employers are laying off. That means some paychecks are canceled. This is some historical ish, and I don’t like the look or smell of it. Hey, we don’t want to face tough times, but it’s something we must go through to be more humble, rediscover our purpose, and understand the Divine Plan.

Well, though this is the season of Spring, it feels like the Season of Cancellation. Right now, I am canceling out Corona and demanding once it’s gone that it never returns. I know the clouds are hovering over the universe, and people feel this is a losing battle. However, I need you to cancel those negative thoughts. Those of us left are soldiers who must continue to fight!!!! Affirmative!!!!

New beginning

After all of this, please believe There’s a Higher Power!!!!! All that is happening is going to be canceled out. If you need to break down and cry out for a minute, please do so!!!!!! Hell, the Earth is hurting, but we must do our part to ensure this thang gets canceled. This is the Season of Cancellation!!! However, once it’s over, be ready to welcome the cycle of New Beginnings. Be Blessed!!!!

-Let your heart be full of new ventures that will lead you to the possibilities of limitless conversations!

What the Hell You Mean Stay Home? by Chellyz View

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What the Hell You Mean Stay Home! by Chellyz View

A few weeks before the “Stay at Home” mandate, which means only leave out for essential business, I was feeling too busy! Every day after work, there was something to be done. My son had rehearsals, and my daughter had appointments. I attended meetings here and there for personal development, the new semester of my weekly Biblical Bible Class was beginning, off to an empowering event, outings with a few friends, and there were extracurricular workshops for the kids on an early Saturday morning. That’s the shortlist. I told a few of my co-workers; I needed a moment to rest and take a break from all the extras in life. Who knew it would happen like this! Suddenly, the whole world was disrupted. This terrifying nightmare isn’t what I imagined, planned, or ordered.

When I had the opportunity to work remotely from home and slow down a bit, I wasn’t bothered. I am at a place where I love being in company with myself.  I enjoy streaming and watching a movie or mini-series with the help of Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime with or without the Fam. I act a fool while having my private dance parties jamming to Classic R & B, Trap Music, the latest hits, or Old Skool Hip Hop. I debate with the online radio as I consume the information. Let me not forget my participation in Praise and Worship services by watching Kingdom on Facebook, googling a sermon online, or listening to some Good Ol’ Gospel Music to Lift My Spirits. As you can see, I didn’t have a difficult time adjusting because I can be an introvert at heart. However, this is not the case for everyone!

The Stay at Home Order could be a life sentence for many. The order can be very depressing and challenging for those who don’t know how to rest, deal with loneliness, trying to escape abuse, or may not have a place of their own to call home. Yes, some people don’t have a home to stay in.  This order can be overwhelming by not being able to socialize with others in the outside world, and you may feel isolated while working from home. Seniors who are homebound may feel helpless. Students are missing their teachers and peers. Well, maybe not the students who felt bullied at school or the personnel suffering from burnout. Young folks want to be young and live their best life. In times like these, we must be creative and obedient when the order is to “Stay Home,” if possible!!!!

If you need fresh air, open a window. I am going to sit on my back porch (not in a large group). If you feel lonely, phone a friend, start a group chat, or contact a distant or elderly relative. Keep a journal. Color. Do a crossword puzzle. Read a magazine or a book. Oh, you can talk to other members of your household. Exercise. From a spiritual perspective, read the Word!!!! Play board games. Organize. Find a free online class. For those who live alone, find virtual meetings that might pique your interest. Call a hotline if you feel you can’t cope. Ask for resources. Senior apartment building managers develop a phone buddy list for neighbors to check on each other.

I know there are many activities we can do to keep our minds right, but follow the rules and only go outside if you must. I know there are the front line and essential workers that don’t have the option to stay home. I am praying for your safety. I am forever thankful for your service. Too many precious lives have succumbed to this devastating illness.

Doors Closed

Yes, I know this is not going to last forever. I have hope. I try to be as cautious as I can when I must go to the store. The hub doesn’t have the option to stay home, and he still must go to work. I replace Fear with Faith. Yet, let me be honest. I have moments when I feel afraid or burdened with grief because I hear of an individual dying, a loved one is suffering, or someone else sharing a story of how this disease invaded their lives. I fervently pray that Covid-19 doesn’t show up at my door.

Many lessons are being revealed. We must learn to listen, pay attention, and guess what? Do something many of us don’t know how to do. Stay Home! We will find out how disconnected we are in our lives because we have been connected to what we thought was important. As stated in an earlier post, this lesson is more profound than just washing our hands. It is a lesson about how the Earth is being cleansed from selfishness, greediness, disobedience, and understanding we should not idolize material things.

Our biggest enemy is ourselves. Many of us don’t want to follow the rules. We want to be above the law. How dare anyone tell us what to do. Many continue to congregate in large crowds, people are coughing on produce as a joke, some megachurches are still holding Sunday Services, and there are other examples where we won’t stop moving. We won’t listen. The Holy Spirit, or what you believe in, is trying to tell us to be still, take heed, and become more disciplined. Once we learn how to do this, then the process of true healing will begin in this nation!

-Let your heart be full of new ventures that will lead you to the possibilities of limitless conversations!

RESOURCES:

https://detroitmi.gov/departments/detroit-health-department/programs-and-services/communicable-disease/coronavirus-covid-19

https://www.mi211.org/get-help/crisis-services

https://psychcentral.com/lib/depression-hotline-numbers/

https://www.clickondetroit.com/news/local/2020/03/15/list-food-services-provided-for-children-students-during-coronavirus-outbreak/

https://www.sba.gov/page/coronavirus-covid-19-small-business-guidance-loan-resources

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My Mane Journey as a 4C Girl by Chellyz View

 

Pic Earrings

My Mane Journey as a 4C Girl by Chellyz View

Changing the Narrative as a 4C Girl 

The journey of being a natural hair girl in the D has been a roller coaster ride for myself. My hair has been described as coarse, think, and untamed. Several years ago, I learned the category for my hair is 4c, which means I have very tight coils. In my younger years, being a 4C Girl led to being teased for having unmanageable nappy hair. Thankfully, the negative connotation of that statement is transforming into something beautiful. 4C Girls are embracing their hair across the nation! From the workplace, pool, gym, and beyond, we are representin’ and lovin’ on our hair more than evahhhhhhhh!

The fierce war of battling and embracing my kinks over the decades had me feeling emotions of imprisonment to appreciating the joys of hair freedom. As a young girl, I had my woes of getting my hair done. I collected countless tears that left a bucket full of fond memories from breaking multiple hair combs to having my hair straightened by pressing combs.

 

One of my spiritual sisters stated, “I must be related to Jesus.” Her reasoning behind the statement was my hair felt like wool. One of my cousins who used to French braid my wild mane told me my hair was thick enough to cut her fingers. Also, hairdressers have said my hair would burn the tips of their fingers because it held an abundance amount of heat. At that time, I didn’t realize the Holy Spirit designed my hair to match my strength for the challenging days ahead called LIFE.

Taming My Head as a Child

 

Who ensured my head was combed daily as a child? That lucky person was my aunt! My mom had already realized doing hair was not her gift. It was neither mine until my late 20s. My aunt had her hands full because I was a tender-headed child who looked like cousin “IT” from The Addams Family after a wash and blow-dry. For many years, she was skillful at taming my wild hair. My coils would be brushed and parted by my aunt then decoratively styled with colorful barrettes and ponytail holders.

cheer

Getting my hair pressed as a child wasn’t always Cheerful!!!

Eventually, my mom and aunt decided to take me to the long-gone Debbie’s Beauty School on Gratiot near East Seven Mile Road in Detroit. One day they found a beauty shop just for kids known as Some Place Special on West Seven Mile Road near Evergreen. They had toys, baby dolls, and patient beauticians who had the magic touch to keep my coils under control.

The Culture of Hair in the Community

As I grew older, I realized hair was more than a culture in our community. It’s an experience. Hair has always been a “thing” in Detroit. My city is called the Hair Capital of the World. We hosted many infamous “Hair Shows and “Hair Wars.” Detroit is where people emphasize the phrase “Fried, Dyed, and Laid to the Side.” We are well known for the vast amount of local beauty and barbershops that are a few miles apart from one another. You can always find a neighborhood beautician or barber beautifying or cutting hair in their home with their workstation situated inside the kitchen or basement. I had my share of trial and error of trying to find the right beautician to style my head or accommodate my schedule due to balancing work, children, and extracurricular activities.

Oh yeah! I was always trying to figure out what I should do with my hair. I cut it a few times, let it grow back, permed it, rocked braids and wigs, wore sew-ins, braid outs and twists outs. Over 13 years ago, I decided to go natural. However, one summer, the humidity won, and I asked the hairdresser to dump that creamy white substance in my head asap! Weeks later, I felt guilty after perming my head. After that incident, I vowed to stay natural forever. That was several years ago.

Deciding to Initiate the Loc Journey 

Well, it’s a new century! What’s happening as I continue to discover my hair passage to independence? After contemplating for at least eight years, I decided to Loc my hair! Before making the decision, I had randomly asked 100 strangers, read 200 articles, spoke with several people I know who have Loc’d their hair, watched 75 YouTube videos, browsed Pinterest and Instagram for 1,000 hours, and made the ultimate decision. Most people know I exaggerate, but that is how it felt.

Anyway, it was time to Loc these Locks! At first, I was going to have Sisterlocs installed, but that ordeal fell through. I lost $50 from a consultation fee, but that is another story. I reached out to another Loctitian on Facebook Messenger and left a phone message. I never received a response. Therefore, I stopped reaching out because I didn’t want to feel like a stalker.

Embracing My Loc Venture

New Locs

After finishing My Locs with two-strand twists

I was eager to start my Loc journey. So, on Sept. 22 through Sept. 23, 2019, I joined forces with one of my good friends known as Netflix to keep me company. After watching six movies and taking 20 breaks, I installed two-strand twists in my hair. The two-strand twist style wasn’t new to me, but this journey was different. I knew in my heart I wanted to loc my hair. My parts were uneven, and my hands were unsteady, but my intuition assured me it was essential to love on my Locs.

After locing my hair, there were small bouts of doubt that crept in. Did I make them the right size? Should I have paid the astronomical price of having Sisterlocs installed professionally? Should I have gone to an expert to interlock my hair? Should I this? Should I that? I was excited, nervous, and grateful at the same time.

Hair is the Inspiration

Hair Inspiration

My Auntie aka The Hair Inspirationist

On this journey, I am thankful for all those who keep me inspired!  I learned that I shouldn’t utilize the phrase “ugly phase” when referring to my newly installed Locs. Yes, my hair is frizzy, the shrinkage is real, and some of the ends unravel when they feel like it. However, I contribute this phase in my life as “awkwardly beautiful.” My mane source of “Hair Inspiration” comes from my Auntie Sherry, who, as stated earlier, used to tame these locs when I was a little girl. She has been growing her locs for over 15 years!

My hairdresser, who used to press my hair, schools me on how to remain calm during this early process of allowing my hair to loc.  She also does a phenomenal job retightening my Locs as needed. After twisting my hair, I found out she installed locs.  I guess that is what I get for not asking when I changed my mind about not getting Sisterlocs!  Also, I follow a few groups on Facebook that keep me encouraged. One Facebook group that has been instrumental in me keeping my faith during the process is Braidlocs, Sisterlocs, Microlocs, Interlocs, & More! I recommend you check out the group or find a supportive page or person to help keep you sane if you decide to loc your hair.

Experiencing Hair Freedom with Locs

Excercise Day

Prepared the Locs for a Moment of Exercise

I don’t know how long I will wear my Locs, but at this moment, I will describe my hair journey as liberating. No additives such as perms, brushes, or combs needed at this time. However, wear your hair as you choose. I can only speak for myself. The societal constraints of what defines beauty no longer confines me. I am a Detroit Girl with 4C Hair who has found contentment by deciding to embrace my crown with Locs. No matter where you are from, I hope you recognize and find what brings you the happiness of hair freedom as well!

-Let your heart be full of new ventures that will lead you to the possibilities of limitless conversations!

Reference:

Facebook Group:  Braidlocs, Sisterlocs, Microlocs, Interlocs, & More!

What’s going to keep you going in the New Year? Chellyz View

Woman Thinking

What’s going to keep you going in the New Year? Chellyz View

It’s a New Year!  I know you have seen and heard all the Hoopla.  “New Year, New Me.”  “2020, is my Year.” “No negativity in the New Year!”  So forth…so forth… and so forth.  What happens by the fourth or fifth of January or maybe even on the first?  We made a ton of resolutions then have a heavy heart because we don’t live up to them.  Well, I am going to keep this post plain and simple.  Stop throwing all those resolutions out there that you can’t handle.  Don’t you know they will return like a boomerang and hit you right in the face.  Booyah!  At that point you are feeling the burdens of self-defeat and depression.  What should you do instead?  Hey, I’m no expert but I would like to share three quick tips that have been helping me over the years.

Just try to be the best version of you!

I know it sounds cliché, but it’s so true.  You’ve read about this phrase in other articles.  Life is not perfect.  Neither am I or You.  Lord knows throughout my 40 plus years the life I have lived has not been stellar.   I haven’t always been the best daughter, mother, wife, sister, friend or well you get the picture.  Kodak moments haven’t always been displayed on the mantle of the fireplace or in my mind.  However, what I have decided to do is be the best version of myself.  No imitation.  No fakeness.  Just me.

I will strive to make wiser and better choices moving forward while packing plenty of prayer, patience, hopefulness, understanding, and positivity.  Most definitely, more common sense.  Hey, Donnie McClurkin sang it best, “We fall down, but we get up.”  I don’t care how many times you must repeat the cycle.  Learn to get back up and stand tall each time you may fall or fail.

Don’t stay in a place of Darkness!

Whether we want to admit it or not, life goes by quicker than we expected the older we become.  What happens?  Losses.  Loss of jobs, loved ones, self-confidence, wealth, social status, relationships etc…  Sometimes it feels like there are more losses than gains which may lead us to a dark place.  I don’t know if you are in a spiritual place or not.  Over the past two years, I had the opportunity to participate in a wonderful Biblical Bible class at Zion Hope in Detroit, MI.  Looking forward to year three!!!!   One of the recurring themes I have learned from the classes is if you have ever felt defeated in life or if you feel the enemy is always on your heels, don’t stay in a place of darkness.

Yes, it is alright to feel sad, it is alright to cry, and it is alright to go through the motions.  However, there is peace waiting for you. You must be the one willing to accept and welcome the light in your life.  Find what brings you solitude and solidifies your faith.  It might be through meditation and/or prayer, finding a support group, yoga, or finding a hobby that brings you joy.  Discover what brings you a sense of fulfillment to remove the emptiness and get out of the darkness.

Positive Affirmations over Resolutions

I probably wrote about this last year in another post.  I know some of you may have heard me say this time and time again.  It is only a suggestion, but it is a method I have adopted over the years.  Try writing positive affirmations over swearing to adopt disappointing resolutions.  Make a list of positive affirmations. Believe in them when you read them out loud.  Here a few of my affirmations:  I will be a good steward over my money and reduce debt in my life.  I am purposeful and will utilize the gifts the Holy Spirit has bestowed upon me to make the universe a better place for myself and others.  My temple is valuable, and I will commit to participating in activities that will keep me healthy and strong.  Now you make your own and revise as needed!  No pressure, and no race to the finish line.  Just believe in your worth!

We are Human

I hope these few suggestions have encouraged you.  Remember, we are HUMAN.  There will always be trials, issues, and a battle that will try to knock us of our game.  The key is to establish ground rules, and develop coping mechanisms that will help you survive throughout this year and the years ahead.  I truly hope you have a peaceful and successful New Year.  Thanks for your support throughout the years. If you ever need a conversation and a pep talk to keep you going, A Heart Full of Conversations is here!  Until next time…

-Let your heart be full of new ventures that will lead you to the possibilities of limitless conversations!

Reference
McClurkin, Donnie.  “We Fall Down.”  Live in London and More.  Verity Records, 2000.
Photo cred:  Photo by Tachina Lee on Unsplash

 

 

 

 

 

The Trendiness of Looking Like Everyone Else by Chellyz View

urban wear

The Trendiness of Looking Like Everyone Else by Chellyz View

Ummmmm, let’s just state wearing designer labels isn’t a big deal to me.  Now, I am not saying I haven’t or won’t purchase name brand items for myself.  However, I am known for being frugal.  As a child, I stated I would never shop at thrift stores.  Hey, things have changed.  I am my momma’s child and I get along very well with popping tags at second-hand stores.  I have been teased at times for being “cheap.”  So, you must think I have quite a bit of coins in my pocket. Not. (That’s a post for another time my dear readers).  Anyway, my children probably have more brand names in their closet than I do.  At the same time, I have taught them that there needs to be a balance.  Everything doesn’t have to be designer.  Create your own style.  I remember stopping at a red light and everyone at the bus stop looked the same.  What do I mean?  Same furry boots, same hoodies with a swoosh sign, same kicks, same jackets with the fur, same lashes, same length hair, same, same and same…  I believe everyone had different names but looked the same.

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I recall my younger years.  The styles consisted of Guess, Fubu, Apple Bottom Jeans, Colored Levi’s with the matching denim jacket, Eight Ball Jackets, Nautica, Coogi Sweaters, Herringbone Chains, Big Gold Hoop Earrings, Nikes, Swatch Watches, Adidas, Triple Fat Goose Coats, and Motion Rings.  Come on. I know there are some other middle-aged folks out there who can recall the styles.  One of my favorite stores was Merry-Go-Round found at the infamous trying to hold on Eastland.  I also shopped at Hudson’s located at the forever missed Northland.  Fellas I know some of you shopped at 4 Men Only at Tel-Twelve Mall which has been reassembled to house other stores.  Oh yeah, if you weren’t feeling the prices of the mall there were boosters (who sold clothes out of their homes) and the flea market (Country Fair on Dequindre).  Come on. Y’all know of some other stores.  When I think about it, many of us looked the same back then as well.  We were all shopping at the same place at the same d@#n time!

Northland Mall

Generation after generation.  Yes, we’re all trying to fit in where we can get in. Even my Momma and aunt had their own style which consisted of high waisted jeans, platforms, and bell bottoms during the 70’s.   Back in the day, I was one of those teenagers spending their whole part-time job check for one pair of pants.  I remember when I paid almost $70.00 for a pair of jeans known as Used.  Yep, I spent most of my check on a pair of ripped jeans.  My granddaddy at the time looked at me, shook his head, and said, “You crazy for buying a pair of jeans that are ripped.  We HAD to wear ripped jeans when we were growing up.” Also, I was blessed to have a cousin that wore the same size as myself.  She had all the colors of Guess Jeans.  We would swap clothes since we attended different high schools.  It seemed as if I had various colors to choose from also at home!

Payless.jpg

Now, there were plenty of times when I couldn’t afford the latest styles.  I was teased, because designer clothes weren’t in the budget.  It was a privilege when my aunt or momma gifted me with the latest gear.  In high school, I worked at Kmart. There were plenty of times I purchased the matching 2 items for $20 jogging suits (included pants and sweatshirt on sale), because I didn’t have it like that.  I also worked at DOTS in my 20s and I would look C-U-T-E in my $10 items.  I was teased when I had my own children because, PAYLESS with the Buy one Get one ½ off (BOGO sale) was my spot.  I would purchase my daughter a pair of light up princess shoes and my son a pair of light up character shoes, and still get me a pair of shoes.  What?  Three pair of shoes for the price of one!!!!!

Ok! Ok! Ok!  You’re probably wondering, where is she going with this story?  What is the relevance?  Well, keeping up with the Harrisonsssss, Simpsonsssss (oh yeah, I did purchase a pair of overpriced Bart Simpson jeans), or whoever can be costly.  Parents spending more than they should on designer labels.  I am one of those guilty parents.  Literally, I told myself I would never purchase my child a pair of overpriced Jordans but…. Imma plead the fifth.  Wearing designer labels can cause us to lose focus of our priorities.   Bill money spent so we or our children can look like everybody else.  Who wants to be teased. Some children rather not go to school or have dropped out.  There’s even an issue with school uniforms, because one child might wear a Ralph Polo school shirt with Carhartt or Dickies pants while the other child is wearing French Toast (which is very affordable).  Everywhere we you look, we are looking alike!

Designer items can be dangerous and deadly.  Some individuals have robbed and killed our own brothers and sisters.  Yes, because we needed to blend in and look like everybody else.  Longing for designer labels have costed us our freedom.  We will slang substances that harm others to have bands of money to purchase what we want and when we want.  Unfortunately, too many of our people are behind bars due to illegal activity because we are trying to keep up with the latest trends.  I don’t think I have ever seen any of these designers posting bail for any of our kinfolk.  There is a whole generation of our people looking alike with orange jumpsuits behind bars carrying the weight of lost dreams, because they wanted to look like everyone else.

shopping

What is the solution?  Well, I am not saying don’t wear designer items.  I’m always waiting for my daughter to get rid of her old gym shoes and clothes.  It’s still in style to me even when she states it is not in style!  Do as you please but remember the costs.  Don’t blast me when you see me with a trendy item on, but buying those items isn’t my prerogative or priority.   Most of the time, I create my own style.  I enjoy going to boutiques, and supporting entrepreneurs in my neighborhood, because I don’t want to look like everyone else.  Search the internet, find up and coming local designers who are setting their own trends.  Recycle dollars in the community.  If you have any suggestions or ideas, please share.  It’s time we show and express our creativity!  You know, you don’t have to look like everybody else!

-Let your heart be full of new ventures that will lead you to the possibilities of limitless conversations!