What’s up home skillets? Klassy K is back on the scene, and I’m about to let you know what is going on in the “D”, sports related of course. Well, I’m going to start with the bad news, and work my way to the good news. I just think that it would be better this way due to the Tigers not having a good season. I mean with a .426 percentage that’s not even on the school grading scale, so that’s how bad it is! So, why talk about the highlights of the games? Who’s complaining about being on the team? How they are not being appreciated? Boo whoo! I guess I’m trying to understand, why would anybody feel “unappreciated” about being a millionaire and getting paid to do what they love to do? Shoot, we are all trying to get that that type of job! Am I right home skillet’s, now give me an invisible high five! Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that “all” players feel that way, but one in particular that I just have to mention is the $292 million dollar player, Miguel Cabrera.  Yes, the Tigers paid him $292 million dollars for 10 years, don’t worry he only has 5 years left to be here in Detroit, he’s not helping the Tigers get to a championship anyway, so bye Felicia! Will somebody please give this man some tissue and help him wipe his $292 million tears, I mean really dude? Oh, the agony!

Speaking of furthering the agony, did you know that Stan Van Gundy is GONE! Did you also know that he was the General Manager and the Coach of the Pistons, talk about conflict of interest. I guess the 4 billion dollar owner Tom Gores got tired of his sorry butt due to having a losing season(s) with the Pistons. I mean dang we didn’t even get close to smelling a championship, let alone smelling a victory in the playoffs, well let me think about it, maybe once in the four years that he was here. I guess in order to win you have to have both a winning team and coach as well. So, that means the Pistons organization are on the hunt for the next basketball head coach and to be honest I think Tom Gores should turn it to a reality series. Yeah picture it home skillets, they would have to try out, display their talents and then let the Detroiters decide who should be the next basketball head coach? Now, that would be the first ever, I mean wouldn’t that be cool, but wouldn’t it be even cooler if the Pistons organization would hire the first woman to be the head coach of a NBA team! In my schoolhouse rock voice, “we were suffering until suffrage”, what did they say, Sister!” It is rumored that the Pistons organization is seeking retired professional basketball player Becky Hammon, I know you don’t know who that is, but she is currently the assistant coach to the San Antonio Spurs. The Pistons is also considering Jerry Stackhouse, who was a former Piston back in 1998-2002, and Michigan bred Shane Battier, who was a high school Detroit Country Day basketball player. I’m going for the sista, sorry fellas, Detroit needs an earth shattering headline for once instead of “Murder Capital of the World.”

So that’s the bad news, now I promise the good news. The Detroit Grand Prix will take place on Belle Isle in Detroit on June 1-3, 2018, I’ll be there June 1^st, because it’s free, courtesy of Comerica Bank, so get their early. However, if you don’t feel like getting up there early and waiting in the long line, tickets can be purchase at detroitgp.com.

Article credit, song, “Sufferin’ til Suffrage”, lyrics by Bob Dorough and Tom Yohe, courtesy of Schoolhouse Rock.

Klassy K Sports Korner:  contributor writer for aheartfullconversations.com

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers.  I am deeply grateful today for my mother.  I learned so much from her.  Some things were through pain, well most things; but, everything has served me well.  It took me many years to wade through the pain and do the forgiveness work needed.  I was brutally honest, and there would be days that I simply told God I hated my mother and please help me because I do not want to feel this way.  There would be other days that I said I hate my mother and I am ok with how I feel so God please help me.  This release was not easy and not always welcomed, but so worth it.

In forgiving my mother, it took years later to understand that forgiveness was the only the first step.  I am reminded of two women who gossip and when they stop they realize they do not have anything in common or when a couple set the tone of their relationship with sex and eventually the thrill is gone.  They too realize they have nothing in common.  What I eventually understood was there was a wide disconnect between my mom and I after the pain was no longer the connection.  We had not cultivated a relationship, and this was confusing at times because I doubted my forgiveness work was complete.  My experiences served me well because I have a different type of relationship with my children.  I set the intention of open dialogue with my children which we have.

Sisters I do not want to give you the impression that the relationship I have with my children came easy.  I was my mother’s daughter.  I learned from her, and I created my point of reference flawed as it was.  I gave meaning to the narratives of my life.  Hence, my saying forgiveness is only the first step.  Next, I had to face myself and how I interpreted what happened to me.  I am still processing.  However, as I am better able to communicate to myself what I felt at the time of my life experiences. I also have become better at questioning what ‘it’ taught me and what I learned?

After listening to Jada Pinkett Smith’s fb live ‘The Red Table,’ I remember tearing up after looking at the relationship between three generations and with another woman who happened to be her husband’s ex-wife.  I loved how they were all transparent especially Jada’s mother and their ability to talk about themselves and their current and past relationship.  I began to think about my own mother.  I remember thinking I have forgiven her.  Then it dawned on me as an overwhelming feeling of compassion came up there is nothing to forgive.  This space of compassion has me in a great space.  When you understand compassion, you know but by the Grace of a Higher Power there go I.  I made some choices that were different from my mother, but I made my share of mistakes with my own children sometimes simply by not learning from her mistakes.

Compassion allowed me that day to see my mother as a human being who has her wounds like all women.  I saw a woman who had been betrayed over and over again and who did not understand how she was betraying herself.  I saw a woman who did the best she could with what she was working with.  I saw a woman who never stopped providing for her children and who cried tears that I never knew about until I was grown and more importantly did not understand until I cried them too.  Sisters our mothers and being a mothers our self is a beautiful thing.  But truth be told, many of us had our children much too early not as in age early, that too at times, but early as in before we had mothered our own self.  We had not showed up for ourselves nor learned to know what we needed and give it to ourselves.  I am grateful for the discernment that we too did the best we could with the consciousness that we had as did our parents.  Be gentle with your mother and yourself.

If you are on the road to forgiveness, please know one day you will look up and can talk about your experience as if it belongs to someone else.  Afterwards, there is more work to do as you mother (re-parent) self.  Treat yourself kind, firm, be assertive, love you, and show yourself self-care and self-pleasure.  Most of all be compassionate.  It will make your healing journey so much lighter.  I send love and light to you all.

To my own mother I say Happy Mother’s Day.  I would not trade nothing for my journey.  You had the strength of ten thousand warriors, the patience of a many saints, and the courage of many lions even if you did not know it.  For the longest time, I did not either.  Now, I see you differently.  I realize that your kindness was not weakness; your laughter is music to my ears, and I love the conversations that are organically beginning to take shape because I understand what compassion came to teach me….I am my sister(s).  I am my mother.  I am the mothers of my generation who stayed the course and birthed each other to finally get me here to do my healing work.  I was created so that my children and those coming from them will live a totally different life because the tree is in the seed…one of power, peace, and ingenuity from their conception.  Mom I love you!

Is Football a “man’s sport?”

By Klassy K

What’s up home skillets, it’s your girl Klassy K coming to you live and direct with plenty of respect!  First, I hope that you are enjoying this beautiful Michigan weather, I can say that it’s officially spring, and to tell you to put up your winter boots, but I’m not going to say that. You never know what tomorrow’s weather will be like, but just use your imagination in the meantime.  So, many of you know the NFL draft was about a week ago, and many of you are probably wondering who was drafted?  Are they good enough? Will they help us get to the Super Bowl?  Chill out chopsticks!  Let us marinate on the idea that the Detroit Lions drafted some big husky, muscular built, fine looking specimens, hopefully “single”, well I’m just saying this to all my “single ladies” readers. Don’t start singing the song, yes I know it’s catchy.  Ah, Ah Ooh, I couldn’t help it.

Well, the answer is maybe, I say that because it’s going to take more than 7 new comers, and a new coach to win a Super Bowl.  I am sorry Detroit Lions fans, but we got some work to do.  In case you are wondering, new coach?  What is she talking about?  Yes, they got rid of Jim Caldwell, the Ford’s gave him a pink slip and told him to “hit the road Jack and don’t you come back, no more, no more, no more” well you got it.  The new for the Detroit Lions, drum roll please…..Matt Patricia!  Matt Patricia, yes, yes, he was the New England Patriots Assistant coach, now you know the New England team has Tom Brady. Tom Brady was the guy that they said “allegedly cheated” during the 2015 season. Remember the deflated football?  Don’t quote me on this, it’s “hearsay”, hint.  Well, I got nothing but love for Tom, because he was a University of Michigan football player, he wore the blazing’ blue and yellow, but he’s not wearing blue and gray, so he is a traitor! Now take that to the Brady Bunch, Tom!

Well, I know a lot of you are thinking, that’s a man for ya, right?  Who wouldn’t want to date super models, win super bowls, be worth $180 million dollars, hanging out with the biggest celebrities including #45 and no that’s not his jersey number and no you’re not #46 waiting on #45 hurry up and place their order.  Hell, football is a very hard and physical sport!  You got to run around with sweaty men, watching them bend over, yelling and huffing and puffing, whew.  Am I writing a naughty novel?  Ok, let me get my mind out the gutter, but I know the women like I bet “we” can make that sexy too. Women playing football is unheard of, right?  Wrong, yes Detroit has a FEMALE women’s football LEAGUE!  Detroit Pride Football which was founded in 2014, it’s a group of young and talented women that plays in a physical and competitive sport. Yes, the ladies can make football sexy too and when they sweat, it’s sweet sweat, not that stanky sweat from men.  The team travels around the nation to play with other female football players, yes, there are other women football teams.

In fact, they have an upcoming game on Saturday, May 5 in Hampton, VA at the Hampton RDS, of course you’re not going to go to Virginia to see them.  However, if you want to check them out in Detroit the next home game is on Saturday, June 9, 2018.  For tickets and season passes check out their website at www.detroitpridefootball.com.   Also, for my female readers, if you have a dream of becoming a female football player and you can bring that sexy back, they do have try-outs.

In the words of Mystikal, “so gone girl, show’em whatcha working with!”

Klassy K Sports Korner:  contributor writer for aheartfullconversations.com

 

My Anger has Value By Tresa Simmons

How many times have we thrown out the baby with the bath water?  Meaning how many times have we gotten rid of everything when something is out of order without stopping to take time to search what is still valid, still useful, and or have purpose in our situation.  This question came to mind as I focused on the power of my anger as I listened to Tracee Ellis Ross’ message on a Ted Talk called A Woman’s Fury Holds a Lifetime of Wisdom.  (Link has been posted at the bottom of this blog article).  Tracee tells us to communicate with our anger.  She says “Our fury is not something to be afraid of.  It holds a life time of wisdom.  Let it breathe and listen.”

As I listened to Ms. Ross’ at least 6 or more times and meditated on her talk, I thought of the contrast of my being emotional (very at times) and burying my emotions.  I also thought about what this did to my emotional health from both ends of the spectrum when having no balance.  The decision came to bury my emotions from two spaces.  First, I was taught love was the way, and I also received messages that were sometimes verbal and other times implied that anger was bad.  This left me second guessing myself and more often than not mistrusting myself which inevitably left me feeling inauthentic.  Second, my twin daughters were between two and three years of age.  My fire scorched one of them, and the look she gave me was a wake-up call.  I felt like a bucket of cold water had been thrown on me.  From that day on, I prayed to get rid of my anger.  I did not understand that I had set my life on a debilitating course, and I would live for many years missing a very important part of myself.

As God granted me my wish, my anger was extinguished but so was my ability to speak up for myself, and even my ability to decipher when I should be angry drifted away.  This experience had value as my stress level was less because my emotional meter was malfunctioning.  Very few things ever pushed my buttons.  However, I swallowed so much bullshit and cried when I should have been welding my sword and protecting myself.  Unbeknownst to me, my anger was actually my friend protecting me when I did not have the capacity to protect myself.  My anger is energy as all emotions are energy that can change in form.  The fire that could be translated as anger could also be translated as passion.  When I prayed my anger away, I prayed my passion away.  That passion was deeper than ‘I want or I desire,’ and it was a force that was meant to create my way so I could have the very desires of my heart.  Every emotion serves us well including anger, but I did not know what I did not know.

There is a scripture that says a little leaven pervades the whole lump (paraphrased by me).  Nothing is in a silo, and everything is affected.  I did not know the decision I made was akin to throwing the baby out with the bath water.  I did not know that I had sat myself on a course of keeping my heart closed.  Nothing could get out, but nothing could come in.  I was afraid of my anger the very anger that I now understand never betrayed me but I it.  I know we all can think about a time that we took up for someone who turned on us for the other person as we defended them.  Well, this is what my anger must have felt I did if it could express itself in words.

I experienced all sorts of trauma from an early age.  My anger was righteous and well deserving.  It protected me when I did not know anything else to do or be but angry.  I was terrified of that which was preserving me because I did not know how to be with my anger.  I had no model or recollection of a woman or women who made peace with their anger.  The women I saw were trying to exist and just hold on though they were self-harming and self-medicating while speaking defeatist words over their lives which often turned into depression.  Sisters when we do not honor our truth even our anger that rage goes somewhere.   I also saw and experienced those, who like me, used God as a way to abdicate our feelings to something other than our own selves.  I numbed out further using God as a ‘righteous’ excuse to do so.

The ‘religious’ teachings I learned at that time, many of them, supported the ideology that in order to be good, I had to give up my anger in the name of love.  What I know to be true, now, is there is a time and season for all things.  My mentor said God was the same loving God in Psalms as the God is in Judges.  God showed up as love, and God showed up as anger.  Both are aspects of God.  There are levels to my experiences in life as there is with God.  I feel that I am coming full circle, and I am getting an opportunity to make a different choice from a different understanding.  This reminds me of Morpheus’ question in the Matrix “do we want the blue or the red pill?” Am I willing to feel my emotions or numb them out now that I understand they all serve me well?

My take away from Ms. Ross’ message is there is value in my anger.  My anger is loving in that it creates space for my best interest.  There is a time that our anger will provide for us the same ways that love does because both have been given to us to serve our highest good as we navigate this planet called earth.  Our anger is an indicator that something does not feel right.  What is it?  Does it mean that the other person or situation is in error?  No, not necessarily.  What it does mean it is time to dig deeper because a message is being given to us.  Sometimes our anger is masked as fear.  This too is an opportunity to learn to read our inner GPS and heal our fears.

I know it was not my anger that was causing me hurt.  It was my lack of seeing and my unwillingness to take action that kept my anger raging hotter and hotter until I would explode mainly at those who loved me most.  I embrace my anger today as it is slowly returning.  In my past, I knew something was bothering me even if I did not want to deal with it, and my anger was straight to the point.  Today, it is learning to trust me and I it as we sometimes play hide in seek with each other.  I still question what it means at time.  I still second guess myself asking do I have a right to be angry.  Sometimes, I seek out other people’s opinions.  What I know is this is happening less and less.  As we hold all of our emotions sacred and specifically in this case our anger to be our GPS, we will be less inclined to throw the baby out with the bath water.  We will be more apt to sit with it and ask it what it wants to tell us.  We will see the value in our anger, and as we become skilled listeners and faithful doers our life will change exponentially to one we not only love but like.  Feeling our emotions deeply will deepen our experiences exceeding our wildest imaginations.  After all, this is authentic living.